Thursday, February 19, 2009

What people are saying about The Skipper:

"I'm beginning to think all Skips are cool and studly" - Skippy.

"Worthy enough for front page post" - longwaytohappy.

"You're Skip!?? Of Mylifewithskip?!? I thought you'd be taller" - @nerotehgreat.

"Without The Skipper I would still be heartbroken and soul-shattered." - whiskeywhispers.

"Without The Skipper, the dildos would be filthy." - Fritz Misanthrope.

"@mylifewithskip helps make my life more magical." - @Teripanda.

"Damn I kind of look badass here." - @sarasioux.

"i think the skipper MAY be some sort of weapon capable of defending or destroying everything we know and hold dear." - Brandillio.

"Worst thing about The Skipper is I don't know him." - loserkid_182.

"Someday The Skipper will reign." - ObamEros.

"weird. but cool." - nightdeathlove.

"The Skipper needs more vespene gas." - Mossboy78.

"My love to Skip!" - Akithesmurf.

MLWS pwns #melo

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day with Skip

Valentine's Day crept up on everyone here. All of a sudden it was upon us. Sara was going to go out on a shopping spree for the day and invited Skip along, since his girlfriend works nights and would probably be asleep until late. Skip's purpose in going out was to get 2 USB cables for computers he was working on. Mylifewithskip heard about the Skip outing and decided it would be important to send a journalist along for the trip.

Most people took some time to get ready. Showers, getting dressed, filling flasks with whiskey. The Skipper spent this time on the phone with his mom because he was already set to go. Finally after a few trips in and out of the house, we were ready to hit the road.

First stop: The Beverly Center. Beverly Hills' middle class mall. Sara had a few places in particular to go, Skip had a few things to check out, but first things first... a stop at the Mall's Bar! That's right, a full bar, smack dab in the middle of the mall.

One whiskey with rocks, one vodka & redbull, and for the 20 year old Skipper (who hadn't been carded) a caramel apple martini.

We shared a plate of nachos and went about our shopping extravaganza. Skip was excited about all the things he could buy if he lands a 95k/yr job he is interviewing for next week.

A round of shopping, another round at the bar, another round shopping, and we were out. On the way to The Grove. However, despite the 2 internet phones in the car and the Skipper's knack for info-tech, we got horribly lost. We did however find a parking lot to releave ourselves in.

Skip peed on a chair he found, Sara on the side of the building, and your MLWS reporter went upstairs for a waterfall effect. Skip was excited to be kicking it with 'the crew'! His piss buddies proved the point; Skip was IN. He was urinating with the cool kids, and now, there was no going back.

From there the adventure took us to a local Medical Marijuana Dispensary where patients could get their much needed meds. We pulled a quick uturn into the front of the establishment, and on our quest to get a parking lot, accidently rolled into a car parked downhill from us on the road. There was a 6'5'' 300lb guy with a 2 foot green mohawk and a lot of metal in his face getting into the passanger side of the car as we hit it.

The driver of the car got out, to our suprise, it was our friend @nerotehgreat. The mohawked friend was a little shocked, but it was no biggie. We hung out for a bit and introduced Skip to the friend.

"Hi, I'm Skip"

"You're SKIP? Of My Life With Skip!!?"

"Yeah"

"hmm, I thought you'd be taller"

Skip was a celebrity. It was the first time in what we hope to make a life of fame.


We filled our prescriptions and took off, well medicated. A quick worry with cops on our tail and expired tags didn't last long, the cop left.

Phone calls started coming in from significant others and our workplace... "where were we, when would we be back??" - The answer was obvious, we were on a mission and would be back when we were done.

We made our way to Fry's the main purpose of the trip. Skip was here to get a few USB cables. Sara checked that he knew what he needed, as she had a number of times through the day. The Skipper was positive. He headed off directly to the place where he could find them, leaving Sara to do her own shopping with the few minutes the store would remain open. After Sara had shopped around for monitors, laptop stands, keyboards, lightbulbs, computer mice, and surge protectors - Skip returned with 2 cables.

"got 'em"

We checked out, and made our way back to the car. One quick detour for another parking lot piss...

Then

Finally we made our way to the last event of the day: an art show of never-before scene work from Anton LaVey. Anton's grandson Stanton was there, he was putting the show together as well as a horde of LA's satanic underground. Free Wine and snacks kept our buzz going, and the art was great. The Skipper was a bit dazed, He'd had a long day and had snuck some medicine. He knew that he didn't know what he'd gotten himself into.

We left after a bit more wine, and made our way back to headquarters. The Skipper had gotten the wrong cables.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Interactive Fun: Your Life with Skip

Fill in the Blanks and leave your answers in Comments.


I _____ The Skipper.
The Skipper is ______.
If I were alone in a room with The Skipper, I would _______.
I think The Skipper should _____.
The Skipper needs ______.
I want to ____________ The Skipper.
Someday The Skipper will________.
The Skipper reminds me of _______.
Without The Skipper _______.
Memories of The Skipper are ________.
The Skipper can be __________.
Worst thing about The Skipper is _________.
Best thing about The Skipper is _________.
I am ________ with The Skipper.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Word from Skip's Girlfriend.

Skip is now snoring, drunkenly in my bed. This is my first contribution to My Life With Skip. I like the idea, and I like where the blog is now going. I understand the intentions of this blog. I feel that I am now able to contribute to a positive and healthy blog rather than one that was satirical.

I'm not sure how much info Skip wants me to say. I know that he's been ridiculed his entire life just because of his vision. He was born with horrible eyesight, and not even contacts will help him. Same with most forms of lasik surgery. So he's used to being made fun of, and it still hurts him. Something I'm trying to help with.

The Skip everyone is writing about is a completely different Skip than the one I met. He has grown, he is maturing, and a lot of patience is needed from me with someone as amazing as he is. They always say that geniuses are the worst to deal with.

That's right. I think the absolute love of my life is fucking brilliant. It might be safe in some groups to say that he's a fucking genius. I believe this, and I believe in him and his skills.

I love him so much I cry sometimes while speaking about him. I am such a pain in the ass, and he loves me. He takes care of me just as much as I take care of him. We're both hot messes on a Sunday afternoon, but we seem to complete each other. We're disgustingly gross. =]

Skip keeps my inner child alive. I am sometimes so serious, that it squashes that inner child voice within me. Skip feeds her, and keeps that pixie alive and kicking. In return, I try to help Skip along his own bumpy path of inner growth. It's happening. I promise you.

I think that after staying up all night, the both of us deserve to sleep early tonight. I have agreed to add an hour to my shift tomorrow, so I should set alarms and sleep accordingly.

I apologize in advance if my alarm annoys anyone here. It generally wakes me up, as does the phone in my room. Spamming it will wake me as well. hahahaha

I truly love everyone here, and I hope that all friendships can be saved through My Life With Skip.

Love,
Felicious

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

showdown.

It was like a pressure cooker in the Speakeasy. For days the tension had been mounting, nasty twitters messages, underhanded tricks, dirty dealing.

It came to a head today at the house meeting.

After the usual rigamaroll, the topic was breached. "My Life with Skip" was tossed out into the open, critiqued and assaulted. Sensitive subjects were brought up and examined. Feelings were brought into the public spotlight.

The Skipper and company were offended by the blog. They thought it was a personal attack, a spying eye into private world - focusing on the foibles of an underdog, kicking a man who was already down. But the proponents of the project maintained their stance - Skip is an incredible find. A free spirit, unencumbered by social norms. He is a wild man, untamed, and in such should be an inspiration. There is no shame in his game, and thus, the Skipper is more free than most people.

Still, the institutional feel of the meeting wasn't leading to any conclusion. The Skipper was obviously agitated by the blog and threatened to break any camera used to take his picture. Teri kept insisting that the subject should be dealt with by the individuals involved and asked to talk to the offended parties one on one as real people instead of through the screen of authority figures. It was decided that we'd try this approach. The meeting adjourned.

Back in our living space, Skip approached, ostensibly to help setup internet. A bottle of Gentleman Jack was sitting idly by and as it passed around, people opened up. No one had intended to make personal attacks. And no one wanted to infringe on anyone else's right to express themselves. There could be a middle ground.

The Skipper wasn't against the project exactly. He found aspects of it very appealing, but after a long history of ridicule, he was afraid that this was another slight by people who were close in his life.

Everyone else wanted to celebrate the glory of such a free spirit. Every individual that has Interaction with Skip is welcome to contribute. This is not meant to give a one sided look at the issue, nay, we want a holistic view of Skip. We want to hear about magical, romantic, passionate moments with him just as much as fail moments. We want to know his bravery, his strength, his essence. All sides of the man, the myth, the legend... the Skipper.

In the end, Skip is now on board, approvingly of this project. He doesn't want it to be a string of slights against him, and he also wants the world to know, without a doubt... He is a skilled programmer, well versed in 14 programing languages and he does not like Joomla. Joomla is crap, and Skip knows this.

Feel free to add your comments to the blog, helping to paint a full picture of Skip. You can also send messages via twitter to @mylifewithskip.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Friday, February 6, 2009

Twit wars

http://twitter.com/mylifewithskip got some heat today from none other than Skip's girlfriend:

" I fucking wonder why @mylifewithskip annoys me. Maybe it's a bunch of jerks who assume too much about someone they don't even know."

When she was asked to collaborate on the project, to give her insight and opinions, she refused.

Our take on the matter is to report the facts about one of the most incredible people we have ever encountered. To shout from the mountain tops: "This is The Skipper, he walked this Earth". We look to share his glory and wonder, to brighten the lives of the downtrodden with a little bit of the light he has shed on our collective lives.



Thursday, February 5, 2009

skipbook

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My bowl with Skip

Today, we shared a bowl with The Skipper.

Skip came into the room and sat quietly on the couch. He passed the time eagerly chiming in with smug expertise on any subject we happened to be talking about. A co-worker's knock on the door inspired him to hide the bong at a slower pace than a bong should reasonably be hidden. Not that there was any reason whatsoever to hide a bong in our 420 friendly atmosphere.

Finally the time came; Skip was passed said bong.

He looked at the 3 foot marvel of glass engineering. Filtration chambers and ice traps glistened under the fluorescent lights. Skip took a deep breath. He let it out. Another. Another. Then, diving in face first, Skip struck the lighter and took a hit. It was seldom seen hit, a faint wisp of smoke fluttered ever so briefly before the carb was released. That amount of smoke would have easily filled a teacup.

Skip inhaled deeply and rocked back, his eyes rolled back in his head like someone being choked out.

Perhaps it was the hit that motivated Skip to share his extensive use of various coding techniques and his preference for open source CMS's. He was inclined to share this last bit twice, making crystal clear his stance on the matter. The Skipper's admiration for Joomla was at the formost of the discussion.

Everyone with a modicrum of coding knowledge froze in horror.

skip w/ groud beef

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

the TV incident.

Skip likes Heroes. Other people also enjoy the show. So Skip, without any outside input decided that people were missing out on the director's vision, without a TV set that displays video at proper definition, so he would bring his 46'' fancy-pants HDTV to Teri's room allowing everyone to watch the show together. No one else really cared about this mission, but The Skipper made an executive decision and enacted his plan.

How would this one play out?


The TV purportedly weighs 76 pounds, and Skip was unable to lift such an incredible load on his own, Before anyone knew what was happening, Skip had enlisted help and was hauling this behemoth of technology out of his room, moving into Teri's. The efficiency with which he organized a work crew then followed through was no doubt impressive. The Skipper proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can meet his goals, at least when they include watching TV.

After a half hour of relocating the beast, setting up cables and connecting video devices, the audience had lost interest. They had moved on to games of skill and left the Skipper standing impotent, with his remote in his hand.

The people had spoken, the show was to be postponed for a bit, until they had accomplished the individual tasks they had set their minds to while waiting on Skip. However, Skip was not down for this plan. He insisted that he didn't have time to wait, this 46'' TV was also his computer monitor which he needed back so he could comfortably enter the mystical realm of WOW.

The people pleaded for him to just wait a bit, till the morning at the latest, to watch the show after all the work that had gone into Skips plan of relocating the TV. Skip refused. He needed his computer monitor.

I'm not sure exactly why the 7 tested & working monitors we have sitting in the corner wouldn't work for him, but I'm just a journalist, not a techie, so I can't speculate.

At this point no one wanted to help Skip move the TV back at that exact moment, everyone was engrossed in their activites. The Skipper fumed around the communal living space before convincing his girlfriend to help him.

He sneered for the rest of the night.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009

welcome to My Life with Skip

we're here to document the life of Skip.

Skip is a tech support with the Dr. Susan Block Institute. He is a special kind of person for a special kind of occasion. Skip moved across country, driving from Florida to Los Angeles with his computers and big screen TV. Now he lives and works at the world famous Speakeasy, a den of ethical hedonism and sexual exploration.

Now, he has entered my life, one of the most interesting specimen of the human species I have ever encountered. You might think some of what you read here will be fictional, but I promise you, this individual is beyond all belief. I am constantly amazed, and I'm here to share this magic with you.

TODAY!!!!

skip secured his room.